


Sorry, I Can’t Come To The Phone Right Now

by XRider



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Car Accidents, Engagement, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Hospitals, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Major character death - Freeform, Marriage Proposal, Oblivious Hinata Shouyou, Oblivious Kozume Kenma, Olympics, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, YouTuber Kozume Kenma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:00:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28204233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XRider/pseuds/XRider
Summary: Kenma doesn’t like phone calls... so he avoids them at all costAs Kenma preps for his proposal to Hinata he does as he normally does with his phone... ignores it. So he was a bit confused why Akaashi shows up at his door telling him there was an accident.Involving Hinata Shoyo*summery sucks just read it. We need some solid KenHina angst in our life*
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma
Comments: 14
Kudos: 122





	Sorry, I Can’t Come To The Phone Right Now

**Author's Note:**

> We need some KenHina angst in our life

Kenma does not answer phone calls

His friends and family know this well enough to just text. His employees know to email or text and simply label it as urgent and he will respond quickly. 

But he will not answer a call

He dreads them. When he actually has to suffer through a conference call he has to have notes of the topic or else he won’t pay attention. He will avoid direct questions if they are not up for discussion. 

Hinata often makes fun of him about how he has no issues lifestreaming but can’t take a phone call. He retorts that they are totally different things but Hinata simply giggles and moves on. 

Hinata on the other hand loves to talk on the phone. Says it feels like it’s easier to connect and talk to someone. He was used to the long phone calls he made to his friends and family while he was in Brazil. He was also a religious user of FaceTime, something Kenma also hated. 

But Kenma would answer for Hinata and only Hinata. Not without making faces and complains as he does. So Hinata often only called if he absolutely needed too. Which was often. 

“Shoyo you don’t have to call me to ask about dinner. You can just text me,” Kenma huffed stepping out of the office glaring at the fact traffic was already too much

“I know I know but I missed you too.”

Kenma felt his face heat up slightly. He should be used to it by now but he definitely wasn’t. 

“We saw each other this morning,” Kenma mumbled, “But I missed you too.”

Kenma smile’s softly as Hinata laughs on the other side. 

“We have a double practice. So I’ll be a bit late so I can pick us up something on the way. It is my cheat day after all. Just don’t tell Iwaizumi about this weekend.”

Oh yeah this weekend

Kenma’s fingers wavered slightly around the phone with nervousness. He had told Hinata he had planned something for them this weekend. His mind wanders to the small velvet box hidden away in his game room out of reach of Hinata’s wandering fingers. 

The thing was Iwaizumi knew. He wasn’t supposed to know but Kuroo’s big mouth told him. The only people originally aware of the plan were Hinata’s parents and sister and then Kuroo. Now it seemed like half of Japan knew because neither side knew how to shut up. It was a miracle in itself that Hinata hadn’t heard. 

“That works. I think it’s your turn to pick today so whatever you want. You know what I like,” Kenma said stepping into the back of the car and nodding to his driver

“Cool cool. I think Osamu said he’s running a special today at his new shop that just opened. Might swing by there and bring that home then. You said you are doing a quick stream tonight right then you wanted to watch that new movie?”

Kenma hummed as agreement. He might hate phone calls but he still did enjoy listening to Hinata go on about things. 

“Cool, how was your meeting? Everything went as planned?”

“Yeah and then some. Hopefully a release date will be dropped soon.”

“Yeah that’s great! We will have to celebrate when it’s finally over.”

Kenma hummed again, feeling that warm comfort rise through him at the idea. 

“Yeah. We are kinda celebrating this weekend anyway though Shoyo.”

“Oh right but still-“ Hinata was cut off by what sounded like Bokuto in the background

“I’ll see you tonight Sho,” Kenma mumbled 

“Oh right! Love you see you!” Hinata chirped

“Love you,” Kenma said right before he hung up 

He sighed letting his head rest on the headrest behind him. It had been a long day. He was looking forward to doing his stream then cuddling on the couch with Hinata later. Then hopefully everything would go right this weekend and they would be engaged. 

Engaged… Engaged to Shoyo Hinata no less

High school Kenma would have thought that was a stupid prank someone was pulling in him. They had been close friends up till Kenma graduated. Then Kenma accidentally faded just for a bit from Hinata’s life. Hinata of course wouldn’t have it and showed up at Kenma’s place at 2am one day almost in tears asking what was wrong. 

Honestly Kenma hadn’t meant to do it. He just was trying to ease the slight pain of saying goodbye to Hinata. Hinata has been saying he was thinking of going to Brazil if he could get things in order and Kenma just didn’t want to actually have to say goodbye. So he figured he would ease the pain. He just hadn’t actually meant to completely drop off the face of the Earth. 

It didn’t help Kenma’s heart when he woke up later that day to find Hinata still in his bed. Snoring and clinging to him. They had talked before they fell asleep. 

“I thought I explained it. I’m not leaving forever Kenma. I’ll be back once school is done. I promise.” Hinata sliding closer to Kenma who was hugging his legs as they talked in the couch

“Maybe… maybe Shoyo what if something happens over there. Like you find beach volleyball more fun or you fall in love with Brazil or someone in Brazil or you get hurt and decide to never come back or-“ Hinata raised his hand gently blocking the rest of Kenma’s words with the slight touch of his fingers

“I promise I will come back Kenma. I don’t think some of those things will happen and if one of them does I'll still be back. Japan is my home.”

Kenma’s eyes narrowed slightly and he mumbled through Hinata’s hand, “You can’t say none of those will happen. You can’t control things like that. 

Hinata rocked back smiling slightly. 

“Ok well I’ve played beach before and I love it because it’s volleyball but I love indoor more so that’s not a problem. I might fall in love with Brazil but I love Japan too and it’s my home. If I get hurt I would definitely come back. As for falling in love with someone over there,” Hinata turned pink slightly and looked down, “Well that’s not a worry ok.”

Kenma blinked slightly and moved his head down to look up at Hinata. 

“Did I miss something?”

Hinata sputtered and waved his hands frantically earning a small smile from Kenma. 

“I’ll tell you when I come back. How about that,” he eventually conceded 

Before Hinata left back home two days later Kenma told him he would sponsor him so he could follow his dream and hopefully come home. Of course he didn’t say it out right like that he just told him to stay interesting. 

Kenma wanted to meet Hinata at the airport but he was stuck in a meeting the day Hinata returned to Japan. Hinata promised he would swing by that evening. He still had a spare key after all but it would be fairly late according to him. 

Kenma came home immediately kicking off his shoes and putting slides on. He stretched his arms over his head hearing small pops down his spine as he did. He sighed pausing as he sniffed the air. Did Kuroo drop by? 

Kenma tiptoed towards the kitchen peaking around the corner. His heart spasmed at the sight. Shoyo Hinata singing softly to music from his phone as he lightly danced around the kitchen occasionally tossing things into a pan. 

Brazil had done Hinata good. Not like Kenam hadn’t been getting photos and videos and FaceTimes the whole time to see. In person though it was game over. 

“What are you doing?”

Hinata jumped back with a yelp and fell on his butt. He looked up to see Kenma just moving around the doorway looking down at him. 

“Kenma!”

Hinata jumped up to hug his friend. Kenma almost couldn’t breath. Hinata’s strength had definitely increased. He gently patted Hinata’s back till his grip gentled before Kenma took the chance to adjust and give Hinata a proper hug. 

“I wanted to surprise you but you surprised me,” Hinata chuckled rubbing the back of his neck when they finally separated 

“I thought you weren’t coming over till this evening?” Kenma asked eyeing the stove 

Hinata moves to turn some knobs and adjust things. Kenma hardly used his own kitchen. He hardly had the time. Oftentimes it was Kuroo using it or in the rare occasion he did have to host he would try to battle it out with the stove. It just was never great. 

“I talked to Kuroo about what time you would be home and he said you probably wouldn’t eat till after I left because you are bad about stuff like that. Then he mentioned you probably only had quick things to eat and not real food so when I was finished I went to the store and then came here and I was hoping to be almost finished before you got here so it would be ready but I still got like twenty minutes or so.”

“Wait,” Kenma held up a hand to stop Hinata’s rambling, “So you and Kuroo planned this?”

“Well not really. I just didn’t want to only spend just like two hours with you you know. I missed you.”

Kenma was glad his hair had gotten so long as it was easier to hide the pink growing on his face. 

“I missed you too but you know you could have just asked to spend the night?”

“Really?” Hinata perked up at the idea

Kenma nodded slightly looking at all the food around them. 

“Hinata there is no way we can eat all of this.”

“No, it's for leftovers for you later.”

Cue heart spasm

Hinata forced Kenma to take a shower so he could finish. By the time Kenma padded back to the kitchen Hinata seemed to have a whole feat set up. 

They chatted more about Hinata’s time in Brazil. About him trying out for the Black Jackals tomorrow. What projects Kenma was working on now. Conversation was always easy with Hinata. He always filled the gaps and made the flow easy to melt to. 

Though Kenma was still wondering about why Hinata had said before he left. Why he was so certain he would come back and not fall in love with things over there. 

But Kenma didn’t think to bring it up the first night… just in case 

Hinata came back the next evening with celebratory pizza as he got the news he was accepted to be a Black Jackal. 

“His sets were amazing! Feels a bit like fate being fulfilled. Then of course I get to play with Bokuto all the time now too!”

Kenma hummed, pulling the crust off his pizza, tossing it onto Hinata’s plate. Hinata picked up the crust ripping off a bite and continued. 

“Oh and guess what! Our first official match will be against Kageyama!”

“Does he even know your back yet?”

Hinata shook his head as he stuffed the rest of the crust in his mouth. 

“I think I’m going to let it be a surprise.”

Kenma hummed again folding his legs closer to his chest as he finished off his pizza. Rocking his head back to rest on the side of the couch. He was planning on streaming later this evening. He wondered if Hinata would stay again tonight if he did. 

“What about the living situation?”

Hinata took a sip of his water stretching out his legs slightly wiggling his toes. Kenma felt himself smile softly despite himself. Even two years later it was still the same Hinata he had fallen for when they were kids. 

“Well they said if I have my own place I can keep staying there or live in one of their rooms. They have like a whole thing that’s like a community living apartment but like on a floor does that make sense?”

Kenma nodded trying to think of the word but it escaped him for the moment. 

“You can just stay here if you want.” 

Hinata has a slight look in his eye. Brief but there. Kenma barely caught it. It was an odd look for sure. 

“I don’t want to bother you. You have so much work to do and you already have been such a huge help sponsoring me and everything. I don’t mind staying in the room setup they have. Besides I’m sure I’m going to drive you nuts being in and out all the time plus the early hours with the workouts and such.”

“You act like I’m not up anyway,” Kenma teased thinking about how long it had been since he had seen Hinata shirtless after a workout, “Besides it’s not like I don’t have the space anyway. It’s just me, the cats, and occasionally Kuroo to make sure I’m not dead.”

“That’s because you never answer the phone Kenma.”

“I answer you don’t I?”

“You need to answer others too.”

Kenma stuck his tongue out and Hinata giggled slightly. He took another sip of water. Bouncing his foot to whatever tune was playing in his head. Kenma turned his attention to one of the cats that had slowly tried to sneak her way toward the coffee table in an attempt to steal some food. He leaned over to pick her up earning an annoyed sound but she turned her attention to rubbing against Kenma instead. 

“You sure you want me to stay with you?”

Kenma blinked several times before looking at Hinata again and nodding. 

There were several selfish reasons for it. Hinata would finally be in consistent reach and no longer across the world. Kuroo had been pressing him to find a roommate or something convinced Kenma was lonely so this solved that. Though he was convinced Kuroo was just worried he would forget to care for himself or something and was trying to find a way to sneak an invite to move in. 

But a quick blur later and Hinata moved what little items he had left permanently into one of Kenma’s extra bedrooms. 

Life moved smoothly. It was oddly domestic. 

Kenma often came out of whatever den he was in to find Hinata finishing either a meditation or run and starting breakfast. Then Hinata would be off for practice and Kenma would sleep. If he needed to go to the office later he would. Oftentimes waking up to a bunch of little messages from Hinata through the day. Photos, memes, little reminders, etc. Sometimes Kenma would actually get dinner together if he had the times. Other times he would come home to Hinata cooking or bringing leftovers from whatever he had done with the team. 

Life was easy with Hinata. 

And one night with a bottle of wine almost messed it up… at least Kenma was convinced that’s how it was going to play out

The pair hardly ever drank. Let alone together but Kuroo had come over to talk about how Hinata was transitioning into the pro league and to make sure Kenma was alive since he still hardly answered his phone. He had brought wine as a bribe. 

When he left the pair had already drank two glasses and they had just poured a third. Soft giggles turned into stupid laughter and snorting. The cats were hanging nearby watching with much amusement. 

Kenma was drunk enough to remember and had a bit of extra courage to ask the question that had been harboring in his mind for some time. 

“Hey Sho, why were you so certain you would come back when you first went to Brazil?”

Hinata rocked his head back letting it roll to the side before looking at Kenma sideways. 

“Oh when you asked what if I fell in love with the country or volleyball or a person?”

Kenma nodded, swirling the wine in his glass. He couldn’t even remember when he bought the wine glass but he was surprised he had some. 

“Well my heart was already here. I had to come back to it eventually.”

“You love Japan that much?”

Hinata giggled and snorted, “that’s not what I meant.”

Kenma rested his chin on his knees giving Hinata a look. 

“You told me you would tell me when you came back.”

Hinata, already pink from the wine, turned redder and looked away. Kenma lifted his head and tilted it slightly. Stretching his leg out to poke Hinata’s calf with his foot. 

Hinata whined burying his face in his hands. The cat closest to him lets out a little brr in response. 

“Yeah but I’m not drunk enough yet.”

Kenma looked at the bottle of wine that was windling away then back at Hinata. 

“Why do you need to be drunk?”

“Because if it ends badly I can at least blame it on that.”

“Will it end badly?”

“I don’t know.”

Silence filtered between them. Kenma’s phone buzzed a few times. He made a face not even looking at the caller id.

“Answer it,” Hinata said pulling his face away from his hands

“Ew no.”

“You answer me.”

“Because it’s you.”

“Why?”

Kenma tossed back the rest of the wine and placed the glass next to the phone. 

“Because it’s you.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Neither was yours.”

Stalemate 

Hinata whined again looking at the bottle and then back at his almost empty wine glass. 

“If you get drunk enough will you tell me?” Kenma asked pushing the bottle toward Hinata

“I refuse to make myself an idiot.”

“You already are.”

“Kennnnnmmmmmmmaaaaa,” Hinata whined slumping slightly onto his friend’s lap

Kenma patted Hinata’s head, blushing slightly at how close Hinata was now. Sure he was more comfortable with Hinata and Kuroo but moments of potential intimacy still made him nervous. 

“What if we both get drunk and just say it at the same time,” Hinata grumbled

“Why do we have to be drunk… we already kinda are.”

“Oh I am!” Hinata giggled sending Kenma into a fit as well

Hinata rolled his head closer to Kenma’s knee so he could look up more at him. 

“I like when you relax like this.”

Kenma didn’t think he could redden anymore. He looked away to see one of the cats making her way over to lay across Hinata. 

“I hate you,” Kenma mumbled as Hinata adjusted time let the cat lay on his stomach and his head remained in Kenma’s lap

Hinata pouted up at Kenma earning another snort. 

They really were drunk 

Hinata stares up at the ceiling letting the background sound of the tv fill the hazy silence. His mind could fully stop his mind’s words from flooding past his lips. 

“I left my heart here with a person so that’s why I knew I had to come back.”

“Not physically obviously or you would be dead,” Kenma stated tapping Hinata’s forehead

Hinata looked over at Kenma and blinked several times. Waiting. Oh right he wanted an answer too. 

But did his even count as an answer

“Why don’t you tell them?”

Hinata looked back up at the ceiling, “I can’t tell if it’s one sided or not.”

Oh that hurt a bit more than Kenma planned on.

“I’m sorry,” Kenma muttered 

Hinata shrugged, wincing as the cat kneaded his chest. The pur rumbled happily through the cat as she made herself comfortable. Kenma reached down pulling her claws out of Hinata. The cat glared at him but tucked her paws under herself letting her eyes close as she kept up her purs.

Kenma let his hands drift back to Hinata’s hair. Pushing it back off his forehead. Hinata let out a small smile letting his eyes fall close, missing Kenma’s reddening face.

Kenma’s phone buzzed again. Hinata reached for it groaning knowing asking Kenma to would be a lost cause. 

“Just ignore it. It’s probably Kuro asking another stupid question.”

“You still have to answer. He is your friend. You can’t just leave him hanging. It makes him think you don’t care.”

“I can’t let his head get too big. Besides he knows I care and when he needs me I will be there. He doesn’t just drop by to check on me you know. He comes by when he needs his own mental break.”

“You should still answer your phone.”

“What did he say?”

“Well first it was your mom who called. So you have to call her back. Kuroo just told us to go to bed.”

“See, I don't need to answer. It’s pointless.”

“Why don’t you like to talk to others? You talk to me.”

“You don’t give me a chance to say no.”

“And Kuroo does?”

“He’s bullying me. I'm allowed to ignore him.”

Hinata snorted dropping the phone back on the table raising an eyebrow

“Since when does Kuroo bully you?”

“Since he figured out my crush.”

It took all of thirty seconds for Kenma to realize what he said before his eyes snapped fully open and his hand shot up to cover his mouth. 

But Hinata was ready now

“Wait crush! Kenma you told him but not me! That’s not fair! I deserve to know! Who is it? Is it someone in the office? Old classmate? Kenmaaaaa tell me!”

Hinata whined sitting up now grabbing the front of Kenma’s shirt shaking him slightly. Kenma’s face was as red as the Nekoma sweatpants he was wearing. Shaking his head rapidly. 

“Fine I’ll just ask Kuroo,” Hinata released Kenma’s shirt reaching down to grab the phone

Kenma reacted on instinct, shoving Hinata off him using gravity to help steal the phone back as he pushed the falling Hinata away. The cat that was sitting on Hinata’s chest scrambled away with a hiss as her pillow was suddenly moving. 

“No no stop it’s embarrassing!”

“No it’s not! Let me know!”

Kenma clutched the phone to his chest shaking his head drawing up his knees as well hiding his face behind them. 

Hinata pouted from the floor doing his best puppy dog expression. 

“Is it Kuroo?”

Kenma snorted, shaking his head, “Why would you think that?”

Hinata shrugged, “You all were always so close I kinda always thought you would end up together.”

Oh

Kenma peeled down at Hinata from behind his knees. He couldn’t really read what Hinata’s face was saying. 

“No… I think at first maybe a while we thought so too… but…” Kenma rolled his bottom lip between his teeth

He couldn’t just say how much meeting Hinata changed everything. That would seem weird. Too obvious. Honestly Kenma didn’t even fall in love with Hinata day one anyway. 

No but that first game did leave enough of an impression to keep him interested. All the texting, the camps, and then nationals. Something around all then is when Kuroo started taunting Kenma about a crush he didn’t even realize he had. 

It wasn’t till the last camp they had together during Kenma’s third year did he realize what Kuroo meant. Not long after was when Kenma tried to distance himself. 

But it was really hard to do that from someone like Hinata

Hinata sat back up resting his chin on the couch blinking up at Kenma, “Do they not like you back?”

Kenma shook his head, “I don’t think so…”

Hinata sighed and plopped back down to the floor, “We suck then I guess.”

Kenma couldn’t help but agree 

He couldn’t confess to Hinata. Especially now with him living under the same roof. He couldn’t make it weird even though Kuroo was convinced the outcome would be fine. 

He wondered who had caught Hinata’s attention. There had been many people drawn to Hinata. If he said he left his heart behind with someone then maybe someone he went to school with?

He knew it wasn’t Kageyama; they had that conversation before. He wondered if Atsumu’s words from his first nationals had that big of an impact on him. Maybe the guy who picked him up from the airport. Maybe the blond girl who was the manager. Maybe someone Kenma doesn’t even know. 

“Do I know them?” Hinata asked 

“Yeah… do I know yours?”

“... yeah.”

Pathetic both of them

“When did Kuroo figure it out?”

Why do you have to keep asking questions Hinata?

“Like my third year.”

Hinata sat up locking eyes on Kenma again, “All this time and you didn’t tell me!”

“You didn’t tell me either! How long has it been for you?”

Hinata groaned flopping back to the floor hard enough that Kenma winced, “My second year I think maybe third… I was confused for a long time.”

Kenma hummed thinking how he really didn’t stand a chance then. 

The mood seemed to have melted away. The fun mood gone as the slight despair hung in the air. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Kenma mumbled grabbing his glass

Hinata didn’t protest. Grabbing what’s left of the bottle and his glass. They stumbled through the house cleaning as they went attempting to make it to their separate halls. 

Kenma just got such a sense of dread over how the evening went. Could he keep living with Hinata in the house? It was painful enough knowing he didn’t love him but the fact that he loved someone else… just the icing on the cake

But it wasn’t like he could kick him out now

Once Kenma showered and brushed his teeth he shuffled back to his room in oversized sweats and a towel over his head. He pushed in the doorway noticing Hinata shoveling pillows out of the way. 

“This isn’t your room.”

Hinata jumped turning and looking a bit red but gave Kenma a soft smile. 

“I think after everything tonight a sleepover was in order.”

Kenma’s heart hurt a bit. Not sure if this was Hinata’s way of comforting him or himself. 

But the selfish part of him craved the comfort of just having Hinata there

Just for tonight

He could pretend for tonight

Kenma let Hinata drag him to the bed. Hinata sitting behind him gently finished drying off Kenma’s hair. Kenma tried to relax because he couldn’t remember enjoying attention like this… well ever. 

They curled into each other under the covers. Alarms set much to Kenma’s annoyance. Kenma, alcohol still in his system, found himself relaxed on the verge of sleep in Hinata’s arms. 

“I like this,” Kenma breathed out snuggling closer to Hinata

“Me too,” Hinata let himself bury his face into Kenma’s neck

Silence lapped over them. Their steady breathing not fully into the dream world. Overwhelming scent of their mixed shampoos blending together. 

“We should do this again,” Hinata murmured, “If you're ok with it.”

Kenma nodded hooking his ankle around Hinata’s calf. 

This was selfish. 

“Does anyone else know about your crush?” Kenma asked

He should be done with the questions. He should stop hurting himself like this. 

Hinata gave the softest snort he had ever heard, “I think everyone knows by now… minus who I like... I did a bad job of hiding it.”

“Even Kuroo because he would have ratted you to me I thought.”

Hinata groaned feeling heat rise in his cheeks, “Yeah he gives me a lot of shit about it too.”

Kenma frowned, pulling his head away from Hinata to face him fully, “So you are really saying I’m the only one who didn’t know?”

Hinata groaned for probably the hundredth time that night covering his face with his arm and rolling away from Kenma. 

“No no no don’t run away,” Kenma pulled on the back of HInata’s shirt, “Shoyo come on! This isn’t fair! Even Kuroo knows! Why don’t I know!”

Hinata shook his head keeping his face hidden. His ears however a dangerous red. He had realized his mistake. Kenma’s alcohol logged brain was eventually going to register it.

Probably

Kenma pulled a bit harder on Hinata’s shirt getting him to roll onto his back. He could see the red lining Hinata’s face in the spots he couldn’t fully cover.

_ “I think everyone knows by now… minus who I like.” _

Kenma dropped his hands from Hinata’s shirt sitting back slightly 

_ “I think everyone knows by now… minus who I like.” _

“Shoyo?”

Kenma’s chest felt tight. He couldn’t really control his thoughts. He could feel a bit of panic yet also hope shoot through him. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was dramatic. Maybe Hinata was dramatic. 

“Am I really the only one who doesn’t know?”

“Basically,” Hinata grumbled pulling a pillow over his face

“Sho,” Kenma gently pulled the pillow down slightly from Hinata’s face just so he could at least see his eyes

Hinata blinked, locking onto Kenma’s eyes. So many things racing behind those cat like eyes. His hair hanging in his face like a gleam between shutters. Just barely able to be seen. Barely.. but it’s there. 

But God what if they were wrong 

What if they made a fool of themselves?

Could they go on and be friends after?

Live in the same house?

Even look at each other?

“Kenma… are you sure… they don’t like you back?”

The words hardly made it past the pillow that was still covering Hinata’s mouth. Hinata gently reached up pushing some of Kenma’s hair away from his eyes so he could watch him a bit better. 

_ They could ruin everything right now  _

“I… I… I was sure… I’m the only one who didn’t know… even Kuroo knows?”

_ “You know… it wouldn’t kill you to just take the leap and ask shorty out.” _

Had it been a hint? Kuroo has said those words to him a few times. Most recently when Kenma walked Kuroo out of the house only a few short hours ago as they continued to drink the wine he gifted them. 

Was it because he knew?

“Sho… is it me?”

Just when he thought Hinata Shoyo couldn’t turn any redder… he did. 

Hinata moved his gaze away, closed his eyes, then nodded. Begging with every ounce in his body that if this went south he could just play the drunk amnesia in the morning. 

Panic moved from Kenma’s heart to his fingertips. His movements are no longer gentle and easy. No because his heart was moving too fast for that. 

Hinata liked him. 

Hinata has liked him for almost as long as Kenma has liked him. 

Hinata said he left his heart with someone before he left for Brazil

He was saying he left it with Kenma… and Kenma hadn’t even realized it

Kenma couldn’t really get his brain to work with his body as he pulled away the pillow Hinata was clutching. Hinata was still turned away but Kenma now has just enough courage to press a kiss to Hinata’s cheek. 

Carefully pulling back. His face is now equally as red as Hinata’s. Panic now returns to his heart.

Hinata could still say no

Hinata blinked several times before letting his eyes slide back to Kenma. Noting the way Kenma attempted to hide his face. The way his eyes were focused on the frayed edge on his sweater. The way his breathing seemed to stop as he waited. Waited for Hinata’s reaction. 

“Kenma,” Hinata whispered sitting up tilting his head down trying to catch Kenma’s eyes

No volleyball match in the world had ever gotten his heart to this point. Not his first match, or at nationals, or on the beach, or the practice games he’s had with the Black Jackals. No set or spike had ever made his heart do something like this. 

No this was different. 

This was a different rush. A new type he had never been gifted to him before. Not when he first realized he was in love with Kenma. Not all those stolen moments where he could play pretend even if just for a few seconds that maybe they could be. No this was a different type. He had hope. Real hope that the love of his life actually loved him back.

This was a different type rush. This could be his new favorite to make his heart beat.

Kenma finally peeked over to Hinata. He was so close. Closer than Kenma normally let people. Either of them would just have to scoot a few inches forward to close the gap. They could… if they were brave enough to finally take that dive. 

“Kenma do… do you like me back?”

Kenma blinked slowly trying to keep composed as he gave the tiniest nod. It took him a brief second for him to realize it too…

_ “Do you like me back?” _

Hinata liked Kenma

Kenma liked HInata

HInata squealed slightly launching himself around Kenma. Wrapping him into a hug and burying his face into the crook of Kenma’s neck. Kenma didn’t hesitate tethering himself to Hinata. The panic that was there ebbing away. Hinata didn’t run away. Hinata was still right here.

“I’m sorry!” Hinata yelped pulling away looking down at the surprised expression on Kenma’s face

“I should have asked if the hug was ok! Sorry I just… I got really excited! I never thought… I always thought it was just me. I didn’t think you could ever like me more… more than a friend. So I was never going to say anything because I didn’t want things to change. I didn’t want to lose you even if we never got to be more than friends. I was so scared to go to Brazil that you would find someone more interesting or something. Then you offered for me to move in and I really started pancing because I didn't know if I could keep up pretending I wasn’t so stupidly and hopelessly in love with you-”

Kenma raised himself from his knees slightly cupping Hinata’s face, cutting off his rant by leaning in and stealing the first kiss. Hinata grabbing him by his elbows and pulling him closer tilting his head slightly for a better angle not giving Kenma the option to run anymore.

And that’s how it was

Years of pinning finally demolished into a relationship that Kuroo often described as ‘ridiculously adorable’. They weren’t able to keep their relationship private for long. Between Kuroo walking in on them making out in the kitchen and the growing number of photos people would post of the pair holding hands in public with conspiracies they both eventually had to make public statements that they were indeed dating.

They were flooded with support from their friends and family on the news. Likely more grateful that they didn’t have to watch the two stare with such a pathetic longing anymore. There were obviously those who didn’t share the same feelings. Randoms on the internet barking about how it was unprofessional and disgusting to have a pro volleyball player dating a man and how it was wrong that the owner of a company with such a big Youtube following was also dating a man. Many claiming a publicity stunt. 

Kenma snapped one night over it. Doing a live rant where eventually HInata came and took his phone. It hadn’t been easy to either of them. The comments were always lurking in the comments of posts either they or the official team posted. Kuroo having to physically come over to help Hinata talk Kenma down who was on the verge of trying to figure out how to cancel the whole internet itself.

“You have to calm down,” Kuroo said putting Kenma’s phone on the top of the fridge

“What no! Have you seen what they are saying about him,” Kenma hissed turning toward the fridge

“And have you noticed I don’t care?” Hinata added from the stove

Kuroo sighed watching Kenma open the fridge and start climbing. Kuroo snatches the phone and moved it to the top cabinet before Kenma could reach it. 

“Kenma,” Hinata rubbed his hands on a rag before grabbing his boyfriend’s elbow, “Yeah it’s annoying and stupid what people are saying but it’s just talk. It will all die down before long. Let it be. You are only going to keep them going.”

Kenma huffed not looking at Hinata, “I don’t like what they are saying. Pissing me off. Saying how I sponsored you and you are only sleeping with me to keep the sponsorship and that crap.”

Hinata snorted watching as Kuroo took over the stove. Hinata guided Kenma to a chair at the table making him sit. He pressed a kiss to his forehead humming before kicking Kuroo off the stove. 

“Kenma they are going to talk but it looks better on everyone if you don’t try to defend your boyfriend so aggressively.”

Kenma huffed for what was probably the billionth time since the whole drama started slumping into the table. He felt one of the cats rub against his leg. Likely searching for attention rather than comfort. 

“Besides, consider it good practice on how to behave when you announce your wedding date. I’m sure they are going to react the same way.”

Kenma choked on air, turning with wide evil eyes toward Kuroo who simply smirked. Hinata giggled as well tilting his head over his shoulder to look back at Kenma. 

“Is there something you didn’t tell me Kenma?”

That was two years ago now. All of it. The confession, the start, the drama of them even existing according to the internet and now with the Olympics right around the corner Kenma finally figured it was time. 

All those years of pining and two years of dating, surely that was enough time for a proposal. Everyone was convinced Hinata would say yes. Even Kenma was sure of it. They loved each other. They had already talked about the future together. 

This weekend was perfect

Kenma finally arrived home kicking off his shoes and pulling in the slides. The cats greet him at the door, likely wanting more food. 

He dumped their water pouring a fresh one and pulled a small cup of food for their bowl. His phone went off in the kitchen. He waited a moment to see if it was a call or text. 

Just a text 

He looked at the screen, not surprised to see Kuroo asking if he had everything set for the weekend. Kenma sent a thumbs up clicking the phone off and headed toward his game room. 

He flicked through the recommendations from a few night’s before. Among Us was still a popular request though he wasn’t sure why at this point. It was only entertaining for so long. 

He sighed figuring why not. Sending a tweet he would be live in ten and prepped. His phone flared to life again. Call from work. If it’s important they will send a message. He’s off duty. 

Sure enough an alert from his email went off. It was simply the report for the week of how everything finished. Why would he need to answer the call over it when they could have emailed him in the first place. 

Kenma rolled his eyes, putting his phone on silent as he slid on his headphones. He wasn’t going to have his phone go off the whole time he was streaming. Hinata would likely text or call when he was on the way but by then Kenma should be wrapped up. 

Kenma watched his countdown on the side. Taking a swig of water. Something Hinata constantly replaced near his system seeing he would keep hydrated otherwise. 

Kenma’s mind wandered just for a moment back to the ring hidden in that very room. 

He couldn’t wait. He was going to marry Hinata. He just had to be a bit more patient. 

Kenma’s countdown ended and soon he was greeted with a very active chat already. 

“Hey guys! Let’s make this quick my boyfriend will be back soon.”

  
  


——————————-

  
  


Kenma signed off, lacing his fingers together and pulling his arms back behind his head. His back popped in a few places as his muscles relaxed finally being in a normal people position. 

Kenma carefully peeked out of the room. No sign of Hinata yet. He headed to the closet pulling out a bunch of blankets he had stored away that they specifically used on the couch only. He then moved toward their room. It had been a casual office day. Just a shirt and jeans but he was already scratching at the stiffness of the denim. 

He pulled out some sweats and dug around for one of Hinata’s shirts. While Hinata may still be just a bit shorter than Kenma his bulk often meant Kenma could easily be comfortable in his boyfriend’s shirts. 

He moved to the kitchen getting silverware and drinks moving back to the couch. Sure it wasn’t proper and yes he would hear about it later when they found crumbs on the floor but the weekend was almost here. It was cuddle time now. 

Kenma started up the tv. A news station that Hinata had been watching that morning was still on. The weatherman droning about the rain headed their way next week. Kenma wiggles his nose, hitting the guild as they kept talking. Scrolling through his options. 

“An update on the civilian who was hit earlier this evening. He has unfortunately died due to his injuries. Names haven’t been released as of yet but if anyone has information on the identity of the driver please contact police.”

They went on talking about the upcoming Olympics. Kenma winced at the thought of the civilian. They didn’t clarify where it was exactly. He wouldn’t have been help anyway; he's been at home all afternoon. 

He finally settled on an old cartoon that sparked some odd memory in the back of his skull. He wrapped himself deeper into his blankets as one of the cats joined him. He looked over at the table realizing his phone was still in the other room. 

He groaned wondering if it was worth getting. He glanced at the clock and decided against it. Hinata would be home in about ten minutes anyway. That was the only person he was worried about getting a call from anyway. 

Kenma found himself sinking deeper and deeper into his blankets. The other cat joined, placing herself right at his shoulder. Her purrs drown out the sound from the tv. Not that it mattered now Kenma was half asleep anyway. 

He wasn’t even really sure when he drifted but he felt his nose being batted slightly. He blinked then narrowed his eyes at the cat smacking his face. 

“Seriously get off,” he grumbled pushing her off

He stretched again feeling refreshed from his nap. He noticed the show was different from the one he left on. He glanced at the clock. An hour had passed… but where was Hinata? 

He looked around but it was definitely just him and the cats. 

He unwrapped himself from his cozy blanket burrito and padded over to the game room where he had left his phone. As normal there were more notifications than he cared for. Some from his stream, Twitter, a few emails, texts, and even those stupid phone calls. 

But nothing from Hinata

Kenma frowned, opening Hinata’s contact. The photo of Hinata asleep with one of the cats on his chest. He hesitated wondering if Hinata would panic over the fact Kenma was calling him. After all Kenma avoided calling even Hinata if he could. 

But… if he was running behind he would have at least had a text… right?

Kenma clicked the call button hesitating before pressing it to his ear. The phone rang several times before it clicked. Kenma blinked hearing Hinata’s voice giggling slightly from the phone. 

“Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now-“ he giggled slightly and Kenma could hear his own voice in the background, “but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible! Thank you!”

Kenma frowned. Why was he sent to voicemail? Hinata always answered. 

Maybe he was just being dramatic. 

No… no he knew Hinata. Something was off. 

So he called again. 

“Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now-“

Kenma hung up sending off a text

**Hey Sho are you just running late or did something happen?**

Maybe his phone died and he’s stuck in traffic or something. Kenma chewed his cheek moving back to the tv. He flipped back to the news channel. Perfect they were talking about traffic. 

But they said no delays, everything was moving steady. 

His phone rang. Kenma pulled it toward him only to see Kuroo calling. He made a face and pushed it away again. Hopefully Hinata would call back soon. 

Kenma checks the clock again. His stomach grumbled slightly in annoyance. He should have been home by now. 

Kenma felt uncomfortable. His skin felt prickly, his heart unsteady, and the odd urge to pace was getting too much. 

What if something was wrong? Where was Hinata?

Kenma reaches down for his phone again pulling up Hinata’s contact. He hesitated slightly before hitting the call button again. It rang. 

“Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now-“

Kenma chewed his lip. The tang of blood surprised him, forcing him to release his lip. 

“Hey Sho… I’ve got a bad feeling and I’m just trying to see if you are ok… call me back please.”

_ Call me back… call me back… _

Kenma never asked for anyone to call him

A text from Kuroo came through

**Kenma you need to call me now**

Kenma scrolled back to Hinata’s contact. Maybe he missed a text. 

He had a lot of missing texts. Some from Bokuto. A few from Atsumu. Most from Kuroo. None from Hinata. 

Kenma couldn’t stop his feet from pacing now. Walking back and forth in front of his couch where he had been so safely napping earlier. One cat remained on the pile of blankets. The other joined him in pacing. Wiggling her tail each time he passed. 

He called again

“Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now”

He’s overreacting. He’s overreacting. He’s overreacting. 

The cat on the floor meowed at him batting at his leg as he went by. He stopped bending down and scooping her up. She rubbed her head against his chin as he kept pacing. 

Maybe he should try back tracking. Take the path from the gym to the Miya’s restaurant, and then home. Maybe he’s stuck or something and can’t reach out. 

His phone rang again this time it was Akaashi. That’s weird. He normally doesn’t call. 

Kenma ignored it and went back to pacing. He would have to walk because he already sent the drive home for the night. He could walk to the station and follow it that way. It would take him about an hour max. Maybe by the time he starts looking Hinata will be home and call him saying sorry something happened with the phone or something. 

There was a knock at his door. Kenma tilted his head and dropped the cat. Maybe it was Hinata. Maybe he lost his keys. 

Kenma tried to settle the growing feeling in his stomach as he unlocked the door peeking around the frame. 

“Akaashi? What are you doing here?”

Akaashi clothes seemed surprisingly rumpled compared to normal. Eyes dark behind his glasses. Face a solemn as ever. 

“Kenma, we've been trying to get a hold of you.”

“Sorry. I fell asleep waiting for Shoyo and then I tried to reach him. I wasn’t really looking at the other messages,” Kenma pauses opening the door more slightly, “Why are you here? Did I forget we are meeting for something?”

Akaashi rolled his bottom lip between his teeth before taking a deep breath. He was the only one who could stay calm enough at the moment to deal with Kenma; it's why he was the one sent. 

“Kenma I’m here to take you to the hospital. It’s Hinata.”

Kenma’s grip on the door tightened. He’s knees wobbled threateningly and his eye felt uncomfortably dry. 

“What… what do you mean? Did he get hurt at practice or something?”

Akaashi shook his head, “It was after… there was an accident. We need to go.”

Kenma nodded numbly patting himself out of habit. His mind chanting for his house keys that were in the bowl next to the door. Akaashi reaches over, picking up Kenma’s phones and keys, nodding to the car waiting for them. Kenma nodded, feeling as if he’s on autopilot as Akaashi locked the front door behind him. 

What happened to Hinata?

Was he alright?

Akaashi has his phone now he couldn’t check the messages. Why hadn’t he checked the messages?

“Is it bad?” Kenma asked as Akaashi started the car

Akaashi quietly backed out of the drive and took off back toward town. The tightness of his jaw enough to let Kenma know… it was bad

Kenma leaned his head against the seat and closed his eyes. He never was much of one to pray unlike Hinata who did it often but he was praying then. Praying he could go back to that morning. 

Hinata has finished his meditation and already started on some tea. Kenma grumbled as his alarm had gone off for the fifth time reminding him he had to be in the office that morning. 

“Babe,” Hinata walked in pressing a kiss to Kenma’s forehead, “You are going to be late come on! We get to go to work together today.”

Kenma whined, bringing his arms out from under the blankets and wrapping them around Hinata’s waist trying to pull him back in. 

Hinata laughed and allowed himself to be pulled down. Hinata wrapped an arm over Kenma’s shoulders pulling him in. Kenma smirked, curling into Hinata’s chest. Yes the plan was working. 

“As much as I would love to stay and cuddle we have adult things to do,” Hinata said pushing some hair out of Kenma’s face

“Adult things,” Kenma teased looking up at Hinata

“Work Kenma. We can have sex when we are done with work. Besides we have all weekend right?” Hinata said giggled making a weird bun out of Kenma’s hair

Kenma smiled into Hinata’s chest. They did have all weekend. They would be celebrating their engagement after all. Not that Hinata knew just yet. It wasn’t uncommon for Kenma to steal Hinata away for a weekend so it wasn’t like he had any hint of what was happening. Unless Kuroo or someone from his team blabbed. 

Kenma’s mind was stuck in that feeling. The feeling of the morning. Hinata’s fingers brushing through his hair and massaging his scalp. His minty breath covering Kenma’s face. The sweet kisses Kenma pulled trying to convince him to stay wrapped around him a little longer. 

They said I love you when they last talked. Hopefully Hinata knew it was true. Kenma needed Hinata to know because Kenma wasn’t sure he could go back to living a life without Hinata. 

“Hey, we are here,” Akaashi whispered carefully placing a hand on Kenma’s knee 

Kenma looked around. They were already parked. The hospital looming to their left. The sun melted into night leaving such a peaceful aura around it. Maybe it was ok. Maybe it is just something small. Hinata would be home soon and Kenma would be able to keep his boyfriend on the couch for a whole week. 

Wouldn’t that be nice. 

He could always propose during the Olympics. He’s sure Hinata would like it. Heck even might like it more than what he had planned for the weekend. 

As long as Hinata was ok. He had to be ok. He would be. He was Hinata after all. 

Akaashi waited for Kenma to gather himself before stepping out of the car. Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants as he followed Akaashi inside. 

He waited a few steps back as Akaashi talked to the lady at the front desk who gave directions. Pointing and looking over at the pair softly. 

Kenma was tearing apart the inside of his mouth with his teeth. Hinata would harp on him for it later but it was a nervous habit he gained in middle school. His fingers bouncing in a rhythm to keep himself focused. 

Everything was too white and open. People brushed past them as they entered the elevator taking a quick trip a floor up. Akaashi was busy texting on his phone. Too high for Kenma to peek at it. He was regretting not asking Akaashi for his phone back. His fingers needed something to keep his mind calm. 

He would be alright. Whatever it was. He was Hinata Shoyo. He played at Nationals with a fever and went down fighting. He could almost jump over a volleyball net. He traveled to Brazil and back with the coolest stories. He loved Kenma more than Kenma could ever hope for. 

So he had to be alright

The ping of the elevator caused Akaashi to pocket his phone. He took a left toward another desk where he leaned over quietly to speak to the woman upfront. 

“Kenma!” 

Kenma jumped turning slightly to see the waiting room off to the side. He was surprised to see all of Hinata’s teammates there. All looked like they had come straight from the gym. Kuroo was the one who had called him though. Why was he there anyway? Was there a meeting he hadn’t known about? 

“What’s going on? Why are you all here? What exactly happened?” Kenma whispered as Kuroo came to his side

“Kenma… we tried to reach you but you didn’t answer your phone.”

“I never answer my phone… you know that.”

“Yeah unless it’s Hinata I know. Me and Bo had to send Akaashi to get you,” Kuroo places a hand on Kenma’s should and turned him away from the others

Kenma glanced over but he could still see them. All watching to see his reaction. Their eyes tinted with a slight ring of red. Kenma felt his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach and his blood run cold. 

Something bad bad happened didn’t it. 

“Kuro, where’s Hinata? Akaashi said there was an accident.”

Kuroo drug Kenma over a bit farther away from the group closer to a corner. Blocking his view from the others. Kenma’s heart beating frantically now at the bottom of his stomach. 

“Kenma… they were all walking out of practice from the gym. Atsumu and Hinata were going to walk together to Osamu’s shop.”

“Yeah Hinata told me that’s what we were having for dinner… Kuroo where’s Hinata?”

Kuroo took another breath watching his best friend who seemed to be quivering now. 

“A car ran a light when Atsumu and Hinata were crossing the street. Atsumu saw it first and tried to pull Hinata out of the way…”

Kuroo’s voice drifted slightly and his eyes seemed glossy. He clears his throat as Kenma reaches up grabbing the middle of Kuroo’s shirt. 

“Where is Shoyo, Kuroo.” 

The voice may be wavering but it was threatening. Kenma’s panic grew by the second. 

Atsumu was in the waiting room. His arm in a cast and hair damp. He looked sick to his stomach but he seemed ok. 

So where was Hinata?

“Kenma...Hinata was walking in front of Atsumu… Atsumu tried to pull him back but he was too far ahead and the car…”

Kenma’s grip tightened on Kuroo’s shirt, pulling him closer, breaking a button off in the process. 

“Kuroo… My boyfriend. What happened?”

Kuroo grabbed Kenma’s hand that was ruining his shirt. Not that it really mattered but Kuroo was trying to get Kenma to settle. Just for a moment. 

Just before he had to ruin his world

“The car hit Hinata.”

“Kuroo,” Kenma whispered his legs threatening to give out at any moment 

“I’m so sorry Kenma… 

“Kuroo no… it’s Shoyo… it’s… he has to be ok right? Kuroo that’s… that’s not possible. It’s Sho…”

Kenma’s knees failed him as they finally buckled beneath him. Kuroo grabbed his arm gently easing his path down to the floor so he would flop to the floor. 

“Kuroo… Kuroo please tell me he’s just in surgery and he will be ok. Kuroo I can’t… Kuroo… I’m going to marry him…”

Kenma grabbed the collar or Kuroo’s shirt pulling him closer as his whispers grew harsher. His voice felt too loud for the room. It hurt. It burned each word that forced its way out. 

He couldn’t tell if his heart had stopped or if it was beating too fast for him to recognize. His eyes stung. They felt hot and itchy and he wanted nothing more in that moment for an ounce of relief. 

An ounce of hope

“Kenma… he passed away on the trip here. Shoyo is dead.”

Kenma shook his head as the tears began to dot his cheeks. He shook his head again as the breath seemed to be ripped from his lungs with forceful claws. 

“No… no he’s not. He’s Sho he can’t be. Kuroo please. I need to see him. Let me see him. He has to be ok.”

He had to be alright. He was Hinata. He was the embodiment of the sun itself. The sun couldn’t end just over one tiny mistake. 

“Kenma,” Akaashi knelt down next to the pair gently placing a hand on his shoulder, “We can take you to see him… but Kenma I’m sorry,” Akaashi’s voice almost too soft

Kenma looked between the pair of them. 

They were lying. They had to be lying. Hinata was fine. He was there this morning. Cuddling and kissing before they went to work. He called him before evening practice saying he was going to get dinner on the way home. He said he loved him just like they always did. He was supposed to be home soon. 

Kenma let Kuroo lift him slightly to stand on his feet. He didn’t lessen his hold as Akaashi stood on the other side just in case. Probably for the best… Kenma’s knees felt like they were crumbling with each step. 

This couldn’t be real. He refused to believe it. 

It was Hinata

Hinata, the one who shone brighter than anyone he had ever met. His first real love. The only person he could see himself with forever. The sole reason he got up in the mornings some days. 

There was no life without Shoyo Hinata

There had to be a mistake

Someone was wrong

The nurses they passed seemed to give them such pathetic looks of empathy. Kenma felt too much attention on him. He wanted to go home. He wanted to bring Hinata back home with him. 

There was know way

It wasn’t possible

Akaashi looked through the door before peeking back at the pair with a nod. Kuroo’s grip on Kenma seemed to tighten slightly as they moved into the room. The monitors were off. It was unnerving how each step they took echoed in the room. 

Kenma felt himself pale and shook even more as he looked at the only bed in the room. Still on the bed tucked in slightly almost as if he was just napping like nothing had happened was Hinata. 

But Hinata didn’t turn as they entered. His chest still as Kenma gathered the strength to stumble closer. His bright hair however caked with blood. He was paler than Kenma had ever seen. Eyes closed and lips slightly parted but there was no typical heat in his face. No tint on his cheeks or lips. The freckles were so faint it was almost as if they were fake. 

This had to be fake. 

“Shoyo,” Kenma fingers gripped the blankets 

He could feel Akaashi take some steps back sticking closer to the doorway. Like he was invading a private meeting. Like he shouldn’t be there to witness what was happening. 

Kuroo on the other hand hadn’t released his grip on Kenma. Like he was expecting Kenma’s knees to fold on him again. Like he was expecting Kenma to need him a bit longer. 

“Shoyo please,” Kenma reached for a hand that was above the blanket gently cupping it into his own hands

Kenma almost dropped it immediately. The bones shifted under the skin recklessly. Hinata’s hand was shattered. He didn’t even react to the pressure or pain that Kenma had likely just delivered to his body. 

The more Kenma looked the more he could see it. How battered Hinata was. His body rag doll like and places looked like it wanted to bruise if it were possible. Blood splattered on different spots. 

No breath spilled past his lips. His face remained still. Kenma slipped his hand to Hinata’s chest. The same place Kenma often rested his head letting the steady heartbeat lull him to sleep. 

His hand tightened to a fist as it rested there. Hinata’s shirt had been cut away letting Kenma’s fist feel all of it. Cold, empty, still, as lifeless as it could be. 

“No Shoyo no. Shoyo please,” his words came out as desperate whispers letting his hand force itself heavier on Hinata’s chest like his heart would beat if he looked a little harder

“Not this way. Shoyo no.”

Kenma’s legs couldn’t take it anymore as his body collapsed quietly on the bed. Kuroo guided his fall gently, keeping a hold on his waist. Kenma’s upper body curling on Hinata’s chest. He rested his forehead where his heart should be beating. It should be telling him to calm down. That everything was alright. 

But it didn’t 

“No… no Sho,” Kenma choked out as the tears fully fled down his face now falling onto Hinata

“Kenma,” Kuroo started but Kenma shook his head 

“Get out.”

“No Kenma,” Kenma turned to see a doctor had now joined Akaashi at the door

“I’m sorry for your loss,” She started “When Hinata arrived,” But Kenma turned shoving Kuroo off him

“GET OUT,” it was the first words he spoke that were above a whisper 

The other three in the room could only look at him with pity. A look that seemed to burn and ache against Kenma’s skin but it was nothing compared to his heart right now. 

His chest aches with something new. Like his own heart had stopped beating as well. At least it was trying to. It felt like it was burning and trying to shatter. Like it no longer belonged there. 

Kenma burrows his head back into Hinata’s chest letting out his first proper scream of pain. One that could be heard all the way back in the waiting room. It didn’t matter who heard though because the love of his life was dead. There was no heartbeat. He was really gone. 

He didn’t think it was possible. The sun didn’t just set. The sun had gone out completely. Taking the warmth and living with it. 

He was gone 

He was really gone

He couldn’t do anything about it. 

That was the harshness of the reality. 

He couldn’t turn back time and lock Hinata in for the day. He couldn’t turn back and tell Hinata to come straight home instead of picking up dinner on the way. He couldn’t bring him back. He couldn’t hear him just one more time. 

“Shoyo please. Please it’s just a bad dream. I need to wake up. Wake me up please. You always wake me up from a bad dream. I can’t… I can’t do this without you. Shoyo,” Kenma couldn't control the tears pooling below him

He wasn’t sure how long he laid on Hinata’s chest begging for him to come back but long enough to flinch as Kuroo laid a hand on his back. 

“Kenma,” Kuroo tried

How was his voice so solid? So calm? Was it because his heart wasn’t burning to its death inside his chest? 

“No. No Kuroo I can’t. I can’t leave him. I’m supposed to propose to him this weekend. We are supposed to go away and I propose. That’s… this isn't…”

Kenma’s body hadn’t stopped quivering since he saw Hinata. It hadn’t stopped burning and cracking. A fog has settled on his mind. He wasn’t ready. Why was he being dragged away?

“I’m taking him to my place. I don’t think it’s good to take him back to where… they last were… can you… can you check on the cats for him?”

Who was Kuroo talking to? Where was he being dragged to?

“The press conference is almost finished. I’ll take Bokuto over as soon as it is done.”

“I need to get him out of here before the reports lock in on him.”

_ But Shoyo is here. I can’t leave _

“Kenma… I’m… I’m sorry. I’ll visit soon I promise,” Kenma could feel a light press to his forehead and a squeeze on his shoulder then it was gone as quick as it appeared

He was moving again. His feet stumble every few steps. He felt like he wasn’t really there. He couldn’t really see or hear anything around him. He just knew Kuroo was guiding him somewhere. 

“Kuroo… Sho.”

“I’m sorry Kenma. I’m sorry but we can’t stay here long. There are things that have to be processed.”

There was a beep and click as Kuroo jostled him slightly. He felt himself being eased to sit. Something came across his chest and another click. 

“But Kuroo… we can’t… we can’t leave Sho here.”

“We won’t. Don’t worry.”

“Kuroo… Sho… his heart…”

“I know Kenma… I’m so sorry.”

Something seemed to shift in his brain slightly. Like the fog parted for a moment. 

“His mom and Natsu.”

“Akaashi and I already took care of it. Everything is taken care of now we got to take care of you.”

Kenma’s hand spasmed slightly. 

This was really happening. 

He was really gone. 

Kuroo unstrapped him and carefully slid his arm under his legs, lifting him up. Kenma tried to blink the fog away. Where were they? What happens now. 

Maybe it was the motion or maybe it was suddenly the events of the day but Kenma frantically tapped Kuroo’s shoulder leaning over blindly. Kuroo barely managed to keep him steady as Kenma upturned the contents only his stomach into the doorway. 

Kuroo quietly rubbed his back and held back what hair had escaped his hair tie. 

“Easy Kenma hold on,” He whispered finally getting him to the couch

The fog seemed gone. Kenma could actually see his surroundings again. It felt like he was dropped through a portal and landed into a different dimension yet it looked exactly like Kuroo’s living room. 

Kuroo came back with a damp rag clearing Kenma’s face and offering water to clear his throat. 

_ Shoyo… Shoyo is dead _

Kenma felt like he was going to be sick all over again when Kuroo came back with a different glass. The liquid was clear but the smell was stronger than water. Kuroo held his own glass which he quickly downed and sat on the table. 

Kenma stared at his. What was the point of this? It wasn’t going to help anything.

He downed it in a similar fashion and blanched as it burned on the way down. 

They sat in silence staring at the wall where nothing hung. Kenma’s limbs didn’t feel like they belonged to him. He still felt like it was a dream. 

Kuroo eventually moved to the bed room. Not having the heart to convince Kenma to change out of his clothes as he was still wearing one of Hinata’s shirts. 

“Stay here. I’m going to get more stuff for you. Akaashi left this with me by the way… but you may want to wait,” Kuroo set Kenma’s phone on the dresser and left

Kenma stares at it. Occasionally the light from the phone would flicker as an alert would go through but it was still on silent. 

_ Just one more time _

Kenma moved for the phone. Carefully cradling it to his chest as he laid on the bed. He ignored the messages and calls that were overwhelming his phone and headed straight for one contact. He stared at the photo a moment before hitting the call button. 

It rang

And rang

_ Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now _

  
  


—————————-

  
  


_ Kenma squinted and blinked several times trying to make sense of his surroundings.  _

_ It was a street with fog on either end. No answer to what was past there.  _

_ Kenma jumped as a shrill sound echoed around him.  _

_ A phone lay just in front of him ringing. A familiar photo from the contact lit up on the screen. It didn’t make much sense though. The caller died a few hours ago.  _

_ Kenma knelt down and stared at it. It kept on. Longer than a normal phone would. He finally picked it up, hitting the green button, and slowly bringing the phone to his ear.  _

_ “Hello?” _

_ There was no answer and Kenma rocked back to his butt sitting on the road. He looked up slightly noticing a chain link fence.  _

_ Why did this place feel so familiar? _

_ “Kenma!” _

_ Kenma jumped again dropping the phone scrabbling for it before it hit the road but failed. It slipped through his fingers and the screen shattered. A noise ripped through his throat as he tilted it toward him. The screen still signaled that the phone worked.  _

_ He brought it back to his ear. Afraid the sound was fake. This had to be a dream. This wasn’t real.  _

_ “Hello?” _

_ “Kenma!”  _

_ It wasn’t coming from the phone. Kenma looked up and coming from the fog at the end of the road was the sun itself. A phone pressed to his own ear as he waved him down.  _

_ Kenma froze watching Hinata run toward him.  _

_ This wasn’t real  _

_ Hinata ended the call pocketing the phone holding a hand out for Kenma. Kenma stares at it. It seemed real. It seemed there.  _

_ He slowly accepted it and felt warmth spread through him as Hinata tightened his grip bringing Kenma to his feet.  _

_ Kenma wasted no time throwing his arms around Hinata. He felt there. He felt real.  _

_ But this had to be only a dream _

_ “I knew I would find you Kenma! Just like the first time,” Hinata squealed squeezing Kenma in return _

_ Kenma blinked slightly into Hinata’s shoulder as the tears started again. That’s why this place was so familiar. This was where Hinata ran up on him the first time.  _

_ “Shoyo. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry,” Kenma clung to Hinata _

_ “Kenma there is nothing to be sorry for,” Hinata said pressing a kiss to Kenma’s temple _

_ Hinata gently pulled Kenma off him a bit so he could look him in the eye. He looked so well. So happy just like he was still alive. Was he happy in his last moments or was it just pain? _

_ “I’ll always love you even if I’m not with you anymore,” Kenma made another noise from deep in his throat _

_ Hinata smirked, pushing hair out of Kenma’s face gently stroking his cheek.  _

_ “Don’t worry Kenma. I love you too. I’ll find you again.” _

_ “I don’t want to say goodbye. Hinata I was going to marry you. I wanted to grow old with you. I can’t do this alone,” Kenma croaked nestling his face into Hinata’s palm _

_ “It’s not goodbye Kenma. I promise. I’ll always be with you,” Hinata let a hand drift to just over Kenma’s heart _

_ Kenma pulled a hand down to Hinata’s chest too. There was no beating heart still. Kenma was left clutching the fabric pressing harder as the tears blinded him fully.  _

_ “We will be together again Kenma,” Hinata pressed a kiss on each cheek _

_ “I promise. I’ll find you in the next life. You just gotta wait for me!” _

_ “Shoyo,” Kenma whispered as Hinata took a few steps back smiling at Kenma  _

_ “It’s not goodbye Kenma. I’ll call again one day! Just make sure you answer!” _

_ The light coming off Hinata became too strong to look at Kenma squinted desperate for one final look at him.  _

_ “I will! I promise!” _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

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